Some highlights

As I went in to the examining room to see my last patient of the day, it dawned on me that he will be the last patient whom I will see in Summitview. I was struck by the finality of it and my mind flashed back to the very first patient that I saw in the same clinic, roughly 6 months ago. I don't think she ever followed up after that, but I remember her name very well. She was probably in her early 70s, and very eager to meet me and had the distinct pleasure that she was my first patient on my very first practice out of residency. I still remember she asked me a lot of questions about my training, where I grew up, if I was married or not, if I had kids or not, and the like. We ended our office visit roughly 40 minutes later and I silently thanked God that the first encounter was done. Now on to the next. And the next. And the next. 

In 6 months, I was able to establish a small practice of about 300 patients (not counting seeing the frequent walk-in patients who are established with the other 2 doctors in our clinic). I've had my share of very interesting people whom I was blessed to serve. Early in my practice I was able to care for an elderly lady with aggressive breast cancer whom I enrolled in hospice right away; she passed away at the comfort of her home within 4 weeks of diagnosis, the very first death certificate that I signed.  

Then I remember desperately getting hold of an elderly man because he had very abnormal labs - he was not answering his phone, his voicemail was disabled, he did not call after we sent an emergency letter. I was so worried that something might have happened to him and could not figure out a way to reach him. I called the police department to check out his home just to make sure he was okay. When the police got there, he was caring for his wife who had metastatic cancer, and was actually doing well. He was understandably scared that the police was there and called our office and complained to me why I sent the police to his home. I explained to him why I did that and he admonished me never to call the police again. Because I was brought up to respect my elders, I told him, "yes, sir I would never do that again, but for goodness' sake, please answer your phone."

There were times when I would wake up early in the morning panicking - because I forgot to let a patient know about a side effect of a medicine, or I forgot to document something in the chart, or thinking maybe I should've ordered this particular test stat. That usually happens on Monday mornings, after my mind has rested over the weekend and able to slow down and process things in the background of my mind. I'm not even aware that such things happen until it happens. Fortunately, after diligently following up my patients, they all turned out to be fine. I must have driven my medical assistant (MA), Peggy,  crazy every Monday morning just to make sure that my self-imposed neuroses were adequately pacified.

Of course, there were a lot of rewarding moments too. The occasional patient who quits smoking; the diabetic patient who finally has her A1c under control, and arthritic patient who finally got her knee replaced after one pre-authorization after another. I remember an elderly male patient who I saw during my first week of practice with severe generalized muscle pain. I ordered some stat labs that day and his muscle enzyme levels were elevated, probably one of the highest levels that I've ever seen. My MA and I promptly called him to go to the ER and was admitted so that he could get fluids and a more thorough work up. Two weeks later, he followed up with his primary care, he was feeling 100% better and his muscle enzymes have normalized. He had requested to see me. When he saw me, he gave me the tightest hug and told me these golden words: "Doc, you saved my life. I wouldn't be here if it weren't for you." My heart was so full that all I could do was hug him back and silently say a prayer of thanks to God. All the praise is due to Him.

There are times when I wish I wasn't a physician because of all the responsibility and the worrying that go along with the profession. This is especially compounded by the fact that the current culture is so litiginous, that a gray cloud is always above my head whenever I encounter a patient in the office. But my husband is quick to remind me that God has given me this talent and has put me in this particular place, and that He has given me all the things that I need to surpass these trials, most of all He has given us Jesus. I am continually comforted by this fact.

(Photo above is the view of the Mt. Adams peak from my office. It looks much better on a clear day.)